Pro Tip: Ignore the Jackasses on Instagram Telling You to Turn on Notifications

A couple of weeks ago, we told you that Instagram was on the verge of screwing up your timeline, just like Facebook did a few years back and has yet to fix. The screw-up will arrive in the form of a new timeline that has been re-ordered to show you the moments Instagram believes “you care about the most.” It’s going to be terrible because most of us like things in chronological order. We also like to do things our own way, not based on what Instagram or Facebook thinks we like.

Why are they doing this, you ask? Because Instagram’s numbers show that people miss some 70% of their feeds, they think this new based-on-what-Instagram-thinks-you-care-about timeline is a great solution. It isn’t, just like it isn’t/wasn’t/never-will-be on Facebook. Thankfully, we have “months” to go before this new timeline ever reaches our personal feeds. During those months, Instagram also says that it will “take time to get this right and listen to your feedback.” In other words, there is still hope that they’ll let us turn off their stupid re-arranged feed and let us keep it in chronological order. 

Unfortunately, dipshits on Instagram who don’t understand any of this and for some reason, think Instagram is making this change tomorrow, are spamming to their followers that they all need to subscribe to notifications from their account in order to not miss a thing. Seriously, look at the hashtag #turnmeon. Over 56,000 people have used it, all of which are under the ridiculous impression that their Instagram feeds are about to receive less likes before the world implodes on itself during some sort of apocalypse that involves having to watch Will Smith movies on repeat. As terrible as that sounds, especially the Will Smith part, Instagram isn’t going to make this change tomorrow or this week or the next, for that matter.

See, look.

Instagram went a step further in an email to CNET, where they said there are “still weeks, or even months, of testing to come before we roll this out more broadly.” Again, you have nothing to worry about right now.

As for this whole notifications thing, just know that it’s a really bad idea for you to turn on notifications for every single account you follow. Depending on how many accounts you follow, you could see dozens if not hundreds of notifications in a day from Instagram alone. Do you want that? I sure as hell don’t. Do I want to get notifications from the important accounts I follow, like those run by my family and friends? Of course. Do I need to notifications from all of the beer, sneaker, basketball, and watch accounts too? Hell no. That shit isn’t really that important.

So, folks, ignore the fools on Instagram who keep spamming to you to turn on their notifications. Once Instagram actually starts rolling out changes, we’ll let you know if different measures need to be taken. For now, carry on with your chronological Instagram.

Oh, we’re on Instagram. Feel free to follow us (and turn on notifications….lulz).